Are You Struggling with Your Relationship or Marriage?

  • Do you feel like your relationship has changed over time and become less satisfying?
  • Do the stress and demands of life get in the way of spending quality time with your partner?
  • Do you fight over the same issues over and over again with no resolution?
  • Do you wish you could feel closer to your partner, both emotionally and physically?

After the initial phase of falling in love, being in a healthy, committed relationship is not always easy. The demands and stress of life can put a strain on a relationship, causing more communication breakdowns and conflicts. These frequent arguments can add to your frustration, especially if you feel like your thoughts, ideas, and opinions are not being heard or understood. On the other side of irritation, you may also feel disconnected from your partner, causing you to withdraw, shut down and feel alone in the partnership. To cope with the widening gap between you and your significant other, you may busy yourself with work, the internet, TV, hobbies, kids and other activities. Over time, you may realize that you’re just going through the motions and feel more alone than ever, disconnected from your partner and maybe even yourself. And, when you try to seek marriage advice from your friends, family, self-help books and other online resources about repairing your marriage, nothing seems to make a difference.

All Couples Experience Difficulties

DANIELLE DETORA_Couples Counseling leavesAt times, all couples face challenges in their relationship. Difficulties such as loss, financial problems, health issues, death, unemployment and other unavoidable challenges can put significant strain on a relationship. It can be confusing and hard to navigate heavy emotions when one or both partners are going through a major life challenge. Symptoms of anxiety or depression, too, can contribute to frequent misunderstandings or long spells of silence.

Although communication problems are very normal (and with a little guidance can be overcome), many couples continue to suffer needlessly in silence. It’s common for couples to assume their friends are happier than they are. You may be afraid to talk about your concerns and desires to friends or your partner, and this can add to your significant trust and communication issues within your relationship. Maybe the emotional and intimate connection has become too much to bear, and you’ve secretly thought about marital counseling before. You may even realize that over time, if this rift continues to grow without treatment, it could result in infidelity, separation or even divorce.

The truth is that very few people are ever given the proper tools or training on how to maintain a healthy, long-term committed relationship.  Even if you and your partner manage to overcome periods of conflict, as many couples do, you may not be using the proper tools to strengthen the relationship and reduce the possibility of bumping up against the same conflict in the future. Couples counseling can help you and your partner acquire these tools so that you’re not just “surviving” these difficult times, but thriving as you resolve your conflicts.

Couples Counseling Can Help Save Your Relationship

DANIELLE D_Couples counselingCouples counseling provides the opportunity to explore your issues in a safe, unique space, separate from your daily life and responsibilities. No matter how long you have been together or what challenges you have faced before, I can provide the tools and techniques you and your spouse need to change, grow and repair your marriage.

In a safe, compassionate space, you and your partner can learn how to reconnect in ways you never have before. You will practice effective communication techniques that will help you feel heard, understood and cared for. Together, we will work to get at the root cause of your relationship distress and how to correct those dynamics. Once you’re able to recognize the underlying cause of your pain, you will be better equipped to arrive at long-term solutions. With a thorough understanding of your relationship dynamics and new ways of dealing with conflict, you can deepen your loving bond and live a more satisfied and fulfilled life.

If you feel like you and your partner have grown apart and your relationship or marriage is different than when you first met, the truth is we all grow and change with every new experience we have. As we grow and change, our partner and our relationship or marriage does, too. If you have communication issues in your relationship, these changes can accumulate and create a significant sense of disconnection. Even though every couple has problems, you know in your heart that you could really use the expertise and guidance of a qualified couples or marriage therapist. With over 15 years working with couples, I can help you and your partner rediscover a deep, loving connection in your relationship.

Relationship or marriage counseling is most effective when both partners are willing to participate in the therapy process. That is, when both partners are willing and committed to repairing the relationship and finding a solution. When this happens, the results can be amazing.  With techniques informed by Imago therapy, you and your partner can learn how to really listen to each other and talk about your needs and desires– not just about what happened that day with work or the kids.

No matter what you and your partner are going through, I can help you both catapult your relationship into a new level of emotional connection that you never knew was possible.

You and your partner are not getting along and need help, but you still have some questions about couples counseling…

We’ve been to couples therapy before and it didn’t work.

Not all couples therapy is the same. I have seen amazing results with the particular type of therapy I practice compared to other popular techniques. I also don’t utilize a one-size-fits-all approach to therapy. My sessions are individually designed to address you and your partner’s problems. If you had a poor experience before, I will want to talk with you about it so that we don’t repeat any failed techniques here.

We just don’t have the time and money for couples therapy.

I understand that it can be really hard to find the time and money to prioritize therapy. However, think about how the stress and strain of your current relationship or marriage problems impacts your life and how much better your life could be if you and your partner were able to repair your ruptures and reconnect. Furthermore, taking the time to strengthen your relationship now may help you avoid potentially expensive and damaging divorce proceedings in the future.

We don’t need couples therapy. My partner just needs to change the way s/he thinks about certain things.

Relationship issues always involve two people and differences can be challenging. Rather than perpetuating the conflict, I can help you communicate your concerns to your partner more effectively so that you can make long-lasting, positive changes.

What kinds of couples do you work with?

I work with all types of couples:

  1. Heterosexual and GLBTQ
  2. Married, living together, or dating for a few months or many years

You don’t have to go through this alone. If you want end the struggles in your relationship or if you still have questions about couples therapy, I invite you to call me at 781-862-6772 for a free 15-minute phone consultation.